Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we're making bets on your personal life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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