Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
