It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
