If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
