Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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