this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
