we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Jerry, you need to find god
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
