the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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