omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
