Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
