i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
