Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
