We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
