You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
