He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
