Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
