Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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