How'd it feel making her break her religion?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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