i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
