she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
