I feel like I'm in dance class right now
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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