everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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