can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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