i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
