drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
