Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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