it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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