You really coming over, don't trick.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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