im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
