Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
