Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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