Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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