But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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