if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We left the knife in your bed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
