If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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