Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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