his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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