ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
