Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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