Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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