I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
