oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
