Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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