its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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