the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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