when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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