so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
