Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
