...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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