i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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