My first STD was from a foam party
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
