Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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