We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
