Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize