"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
