If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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