I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
