singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
