I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
