everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I supernannyed him into submission
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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